The Best Boyfriend I Have

So to tease Jason a little last night, I left a note on his car under his windshield that simply read 'Your the BEST boyfriend I have.' I know, not very kind, but very funny to me. He seemed to get the joke as his text later read 'Thanks for not telling me about the other boyfriends at least for the first 4 months.' And that's that. Jason just rolls.

So I've been dating my friend of 17 years for 4 months now and here are some observations I have to say in regards to dating your friend:

1. It's amazing the freedom you have when you realize your brand new boyfriend has already seen you in all your non-girlfriend glory: bathing suits, no make up, just waking up at a high school sleep over, crying over something ridiculous, big hair from high school, the list could go on.

2. Being understood is vastly more important than the mystery of a 'new' relationship. Sure, some of the luster is rubbed off when the above paragraph is applied to a new relationship, but the depth of care that comes from intimacy and understanding burns like a wildfire compared to the new relationship's birthday candle.

3. The advice columns that recommend being friends first don't mention the speed with which that applies to the dating relationship. I don't personally know of anyone else that could pick out my new car for me during the first month of dating - but Jason did...I showed up to sign the papers & drove it for the first time on my way home from the dealership.

Besides the obvious bonuses of dating someone you've been friends with for so long, I've got bonuses coming out my ears from dating JASON. My first impression of Jason when I met him at 13 years of age: old man trapped in a pre-pubescent body. He loved rules - not just that he followed him, but he LIKED them! He was so serious - cautious, thought-out, measured, serious. And the poor guy couldn't hold a candle to the flashy arrogance of his teenage peers. But here he is 17 years later & as his age has caught up to his maturity, it's balanced out really well. All the while his flashy counter parts seem to struggle to find an identity in their 30's. Not a dang thing wrong with that natural transition, but Jason's just as steady as ever in who he is - the same today as yesterday as tomorrow. I used to think that was boring. I used to think that meant he was predictable. And while I love his stability, I've come to learn that steadiness is not the same as stuck. Sure, you can't deny that the addition of me hasn't shaken him up a bit, but the fact that we are together has very little to do with Jason changing and a whole lot to do with me seeing him differently.

These are a few of my favorite things...
Raindrop on roses
Ooops, wrong list.

Dependability: he does what he says he'll do in the timeframe he said he'd do it

Thoughtfulness: he's always thinking ahead & generally about my needs/preferences/desires

Softness: Jason just isn't harsh. He's kind, gentle, tender, loving.

Hard worker: it's genetic, but when he's on a task, he's 180% 'in'

Organized: in this, we are the same - the question is, 'why NOT have things organized?' We are both very excited about combining our systems of organization - we have two well-functioning homes and can't wait to take the best of both of our systems and put them together.

Routined: he naturally leans toward my natural bent which is exemplified in how we handle our respective toothpastes - we store them in a particular location, in a particular direction, with a particular motion of squeezing that suits our system of tooth brushing. I know, it would drive anyone else crazy, but we don't even think about it - it's just how we brush our teeth! We'll see what happens when we share the same tub of toothpaste...

Flexible: I know, how can this go with the 'routined' part of Jason? But it does - he just bends and flexes with whatever comes his way be it a change in plans, a preference of mine, etc...

Athletic: softball season starts in a few weeks and I can't wait. I've always been a sucker for physical prowess.

Independent: I easily feel tied down & Jason's sense of self is so freeing to me. He's his own man, with his own interests, his own ministries, his own friendships, his own time commitments, his own plans, etc...he is choosing to unite them with my own independence and that's respectable, but he doesn't seem to see marriage as a complete redefinition of himself...he is still Jason, we've just chosen to make one strong team out of two whole people.

Baseball: he may have chosen incorrectly when picking his favorite sport, but I love that Jason loves baseball for all the same reason I love football - the two sports are simply reflections of our two personalities. So while I may not prefer his sport as much as my own, I love that he loves baseball. I also love how he manages to love and follow baseball but in such a way as an adult would do it and not a bachelor.

So tonight as you curl up with your teammate of choice, take a minute to tell them something from your Favorite Things list - I know yours is just as long as mine.